Go towards the problem…

My son hit 9 years old and started behaving like a teenager.  Surly, moody, aggressive.  I wanted to not be around him, but that made him more agitated.  Strategies that previously worked to motivate and encourage him were greeted with 'that's not worth it for me, Mom'!  I was horrified, and frustrated. Turns out this … Continue reading Go towards the problem…

Fighting for my Curiosity

I am a curious person by nature. I like to find things out, interact with other people who are similarly curious, learn new things.  Raising children has a lot in common with Groundhog Day, with incremental tweaks along the way so as to end up 18 years later with grown adults.  Change comes slow, and … Continue reading Fighting for my Curiosity

A Sharp Stick called Truth

'The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in  you, who tugs and pushes and leads you on to the next plateau, sometimes with a sharp stick called Truth.'  Carol Dweck Who is serving this function for your child? If not the teacher, you may have to be prepared to gently … Continue reading A Sharp Stick called Truth

Resistance and Values

It's my piano less on today....and I'm terrified.  I haven't practiced as much as I intended to.  This is the exact same feeling I had every week almost 30 years ago when I was about to face a disgruntled piano teacher.  All my life I've been obsessed with being able to play the piano fluently..... … Continue reading Resistance and Values

Managing the Wanting

Human beings seem to be wanting creatures.... wanting pleasure in some form, wanting stuff, wanting outcomes at work, wanting other people to behave in a certain way. What we need to discover is that the struggle to fulfill my sense of wanting is endless. In addition, every gain also involves a loss.... loss of time, … Continue reading Managing the Wanting

Let them break stuff

My children are professionals at breaking stuff. They broke our trampoline. And they broke the next one!  They sometimes break plates, frying pans, even gardening tools, which you'd assume where pretty hardy.  While I get frustrated with all this seeming waste, they are also inherently learning now to do stuff.  By washing dishes, and chipping … Continue reading Let them break stuff

Put down your kids stuff

I recently fetched some friends from the airport, and I saw with dismay two healthy young girls, about 8 years old,  sitting on their carry-on wheelie bags while their exhausted mom trudged along in front pulling them by each case's rope. A similar story unfolds at my children's school - parents carrying their children's bags … Continue reading Put down your kids stuff